Thousands of years ago the island continent of Australia separated from the super continent Gondwana. Australia's animals began to evolve in isolation from the rest of the world, where today over 80% of its plants and animals are found no where else in the world. Over the past few weeks, Patrick and I caught sight of a pack of kangaroos, wombats, flying foxes, skinks, shinglebacks, snakes, wild cockatoo packs, and koalas, to name just a few. My camel, however, was the result of Europeans introducing a new mode of transportation in one of the world's harshest climate - the Outback. And trust me, they didn't import the sweetest of camels. Mine was clearly a spitter. Look at him ... This is my camel in Noosa, Queensland. Patrick wasn't very excited about taking a horse ride along the beach, but the camels lit a little spark in his eye ...
We hit the Croc Hunter's Australia Zoo a few days before where Patrick and I couldn't wait to visit its snake house. We knew Steve had 16 venomous snakes and only 2 or 3 non-venomous ones. What surprised us was their habitat almost always included the whole of Queensland - exactly where we planned the majority of our honeymoon. Not only that - but if we didn't run into a venomous snake, just as common as ordering a Shamrock Shake at McDonalds, we'd run into the killer box jellyfish, poisonous cone snails, bird-eating spiders, angry cassowary birds, the largest salt water crocs in the world, or just the plain fact that if your car should break down in the outback, there's a good chance you won't be found until the next wet season; you're quite likely toast.
The most exciting part of this trip was that we knew every day would include something that made you forget about just how grey a cubicle was back at your 9-5 job. You learned that the world, nature, and other cultures can be more energizing than any 'long coffee' you would ever be able to order in a cafe. It really didn't matter how many times I gave Patrick the wrong directions in downtown Sydney, because it led us to parts we were dying to explore. I'm not quite sure just how many times Patrick's picture was taken on the Sydney Harbour Bridge for not paying the toll, because we we're just completely off course, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough in the mail.
After mining for Sapphires in the outback, Patrick and I left around noontime. It was maybe 15 seconds after the jeweler at Pat's Sapphires told us that our handful of muddy sapphires could be refined for $20.00 but only worth $5.00, we took off for Caloundra for the next few nights, back to the timeshare. Back to hot water on purpose.
We made sure we visited the Ettamogan Pub friday night from 5-6. Not only did they have happy hour of Patrick's favorite brew, but they barbequed free sausages & onions for everyone. We bought 20 tickets this week (for about $10.00) and instead of winning a frozen chook like last week, we moved up. We're now the proud owners of a plastic beer-funnel hat & an old bottle of wine. We both thought it was quite nice to look around at the pub - no one had cell phones, just a good old aussie time.
By Saturday afternoon, we piled into the used-to-be-white toyota and headed south to Sydney. This was my first time behind the wheel ... I thought Patrick was too tired to sleep - but apparently me driving was enough to wire him right up.
We landed in Coff's Harbour after checking out Emerald Beach and Sandy Beach. Little towns that close at 6pm. You'd see one or two folks walking, but once the sun set, these towns turned in. Smooth beaches dark night clouds & not a soul in sight.
Coff's Harbour was a little larger - we stayed at the Bentleigh Inn for about $60.00 and found ourselves walking over to the The Plantation for some more prawns & crocodile. You mine as well eat it while you're in the outback... Patrick was quite excited about this. This is one of the few restaurants open in Coff's at night - so it made sense that it also had a band and a dance club all in one. After a loaded lady kept asking me to dance, Patrick and I decided to turn into our little inn for the night.
The following morning, we took RT1 south, stopped for kangaroos, pulled over to a little diner on the river for breakfast, ordered the worst bloody mary known to man, and finally hit Sydney around 4pm.
4:00 is important because Sydney isn't such a large town, but it's full of one-ways, no right-turns, which could easily send you to Tasmania if you weren't looking. We decided to stay in the Darling Harbour section - right next to a casino according to my little scrappy map. However, Harbour Boulevard is one way - and we kept hitting it at the wrong end... which sent us accidently over the Darling Bridge to East Sydney, then back and somehow over the Sydney Harbour Bridge to North Sydney... then back over to get Patrick's headshot taken by the toll booth. It's hard enough to drive on the other side of the road and not look like an idiot; it takes a genius to also throw in enough change in a little square tin while cars are careening all around us. Patrick opted to smile and drive through.
The Holiday Inn was about $250 for the night, but we found The Novatel Hotel across the street for less than half. I booked the room while Patrick took nice directions from the bellhop on where to return our rental car at Budget. It was apparently a 5 minute drive.
It was a 2 hour drive for Patrick and I. Wrong ways - tunnels - bridges - all over again. And when we finally got to William Street in King's Cross, the Budget office had closed. So please add another hour to get back to the Novatel. I think it takes about 10 minutes walking ... maybe 5 by subway...
And then add another half hour to park. I forgot to mention that it was an off-site parking facility on a one-way towards the fish markets. Patrick was out of his mind.
A good thing was that we accidently took a U-Turn infront of the New South Wales Fire and Rescue Barn, where I jumped out and Patrick parked on the curb. The downtown Sydney Fire Department was happy to give me a free shirt for my Mom. Okay - back in the car. Back to hoping I understand the map for Patrick.
Finally we made it back to the Novatel and we orderd Patrick a martini right away. This was the first place in our whole trip that knew what a martini was. Most bars are beer & Bundabergs & rum. My thoughts are that a martini takes too long to make for the Aussies, when a beer pours half as fast. Smart! We're sure Nils would agree.
We sacked out in the most beautiful room ever. I think Patrick spent aobut 5 minutes counting all the different towels and sizes, then was amazed that our hotel carried more than 5 television stations...and passed out.
We started early the next morning at 9am. We were quite determined to get straight to Williams Street to take our second stab at returning the rental car. It was a simple "L" on the map - so no worries, right? Our Qantas flight was scheduled to leave at 1:35 out of Sydney. With a little coffee & OJ, we had a lot of hope.
Until the one-ways, mixed with the smushed-torn-faded map of Sydney that we had left, topped with "the no-right turns, but here's a tunnel just for the heck of it" surprises, we finally found Williams Street at 11:00. My happy husband was completely on edge - and is all I could think was, "he's going to kill me if I read this map upside down again ... okay .... lets guess ... take a right?"
We get to the Budget place to meet a nice mate who told us to just return the car at the Airport. Which is what we would have done all along, had the other Budget rep not told us we'd get a fee for doing that. Matt the Budget Rep was glad to waive our fee.
Back in the car we went. Driving in Sydney is nothing like anywhere else in Australia. You have no time to think "left turn on left?" before a metro bus runs over you. Dodging kangaroos and little packs of camels, road trains, suddenly seems like an icecream sunday to this madness.
Thankfully, the ride to the Kingsford Airport was the smoothest. We dropped our dirt-covered Toyota off in the lot and returned the keys inside. Patrick's color began to return, and we were on our way with the heaviest packs ever.
Its strange to know that on Monday we left at 1:35pm and landed in Los Angeles at 9:30am, a few hours before. Kurt was there to pick us up and by noontime, we were completely asleep.
Patrick was over jet-lag by the next day, but it hit me until Thursday. I returned to work Tuesday morning and would find myself staring at the fiftieth excel sheet of the day, thinking about the hard outback rains, packs of roos, trying to order a regular coffee, and hearing 'how ya goin, mate.' There's something cool about finally understanding why every other country except the USA gets crazy about rubgy. And finally figuring out they can only pass backwards.
Its been a looong week at work. Not hard, but long. I'm hoping to bribe Sheri into driving from Sydney to Perth while Patrick looks at Japan with Kurty. I just can't wait to return.
I'll write by every friday of every near-death experience in Australia that Patrick and I stumbled into. Lots of places, the internet was closed by the time we could write, so please keep checking back at the end of the week, when even you're tired of work, hopefully I can get you to the weekend, and a nice frosty stubbie.
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